Customer Service Brooklyn Style

Storytime kids. One day David and I needed a few random items and had a bunch of Target coupons...so we decided to forgo the usual 1/2 block trip to Walgreens and go to the Target attached to the subway on our way back from Manhattan. We thought we'd enjoy saving a few bucks. It didn't take long for us to remember why we stopped going to this place months ago. It's inside a shopping complex of sorts. As we walked out of the subway and into the mall, I was hit with an eerie feeling that I was living a nightmare. Kids were screaming and running around aimlessly with McDonalds in hand while their moms chatted as if purposely standing in the most traffic-obstructing way possible. We made our way to Target and when we saw a red basket waiting for us in the entrance, I thought maybe, just maybe, this trip to Target would be pleasant. David and I shop with an agenda most times anyway - in and out - lickity split - but somehow shopping here makes us look like we've just used the mushroom on MarioKart and everyone else is DonkeyKong stuck at the starting line with no destination in mind. I had the coupons in hand and we were making progress. We rounded to the back aisle of the store and bam! I almost got stomach punched by a row of shopping carts an employee was pushing at the same time she was looking behind her to tell her friend about the hot guy in sporting goods. I pushed the carts out of the way and did my best not to make a scene since the lady said "sorry." That was actually quite a surprise to hear. Anyway, we get down to our last item on the list...the ever-so-important Orbit gum. I wished I had had my camera when I got to the gum aisle. It looked like some mad sugar-aholic had just robbed the store and left only the crap kinds of gum left. 3/4 of the stock was out. Now I laughed this off knowing I could grab some gum at the check-out, but the sad thing is, this is highly reflective of most of the store. Who needs to keep up with inventory. That's such bad business. So with products in hand, we headed to the check-out lanes. Now a sense of anxiety starts to fall over us whenever we approach this part...knowing even if we do pick the best lane (which never happens), we'll still be out about 20 minutes. I made the call this time - chose the farthest lane down. The lady looked like she might be down to business and there were only 3 people in front of us. Well after watching our check-out lady proceed to phone chat with the check-out lady in the next lane over for awhile and then bag up the customers stuff in the most ridiculously inefficient way possible, I was convinced she was trying to sabotage Target's revenue. Now for the play-by-play. It was almost our turn and without so much as eye contact we get a "you gotta take that stuff outta there" - referring to our red basket. "No problem" - it was all arranged ready to go for her. I handed her my coupons - she takes them-"I will take these last" - she hands them back to me - I say "Okaaaaaaay" as I lay them on the counter in front of her. (Who says that after you've taken the coupons already?). She rings up our 5 maybe 6 items. But ROADBLOCK - we've got Swiffer refills without a barcode. GOD FORBID! I suggest maaybe the barcode is under the free refill that's shrink-wrapped to the box. I get a very long and irritated blank stare back. By this time, David's halfway back to the Swiffer aisle to get a better box. I'm at the counter still getting a stare..but this time from the manager as well. They attempt to yell out some names for someone to come over and help the situation. FORGET IT! David's back already. He sends the box my way- up and over the line of customers behind me with a fairly impressive jump shot to which I catch the box and hand it to the girl in one fluid movement. She finishes the transaction- all the while having a huge message taped to her forehead- "Why the hell do you people keep coming here. Don't you see that I'm trying to find a job that doesn't require me to work or be courteous at all? How dare you inconvience me with your presence." I pay with my Target card (Yes, I really do like most Targets) and David and I bolt without saying anything, realizing our blood pressure just rose like 20 points. Once again vowing never to return. And since we never say anything to these "sales associates" about how frustrating their lack of work ethic and customer service are (there's no point), you all get to hear about it in a blog. Now I know what you're probably thinking..."Why don't you just stop and smell the roses?" Well, we tried that once. They were out of roses. Moral of the story....enjoy your friendly encounters next time you're at your Midwest or West Coast Target....and be glad you aren't in Brooklyn.